My favorite story depicting hospitality took place during my husband's senior year in Bible college. He’d just started in a new ministry where he knew no one. A couple from this ministry invited him to their home for dinner and he accepted the invitation. It was a very small home, and the wife made frozen fish sticks and box macaroni and cheese. But this sweet couple made my husband feel welcome, loved, and accepted. Their conversation encouraged him in the work he was doing for the Lord. They were a blessing to the poor college kid who didn't have very much to give them in return.
Turning closer to present day, when my husband and I first married and started ministry together, I was terrified at the thought of having guests. Our home hadn’t been updated since the 80’s, and we had very little to furnish it. We didn’t even have a couch for the first year and a half. On top of that, I wasn’t very confident in my cooking skills, mostly because I didn’t have any to speak of. I had to adapt quickly, but I am a perfectionist. Did you know a mark of perfectionism can be procrastination? I had the mentality of, “I’ll get around to doing that when I can do it perfectly.” Were it not for the fact that my husband would invite people over for me, I probably would never have invited anyone over at all.
I learned to cook these fancy and impractical meals and stressed over every detail of my empty home. By the time our poor guests showed up at the door, I was feeling and looking frazzled and exhausted. I apologized for little details that they probably wouldn’t have cared about anyway. “I’m so sorry about the landscaping. It’s a jungle. We haven’t had a chance to do anything with it yet,” "This chicken is so dry! I’m sorry,” “The bathroom counter is clean! I promise! These old countertops just make it really hard to tell!”
I thought that drawing attention to these shortcomings would make me appear humble. Instead they shifted the focus to me, my insecurity, and my faults. This attitude made our guests uncomfortable and limited my husband and I in our ability to be a blessing. My husband already had a heart of hospitality. He graciously showed me over time that hospitality stems from contentment and gratitude. This attitude recognizes the abundance it’s been blessed with and desires to share that abundance with others.
My point is not that we should neglect excellence but rather that we shouldn’t let our desire for excellence turn into a need for perfection that overshadows our ability to minister to others. I still struggle with my perfectionism and desire to impress. I still get a little nervous every time I see a car pulling into our driveway for dinner. But every time I’m tempted to apologize profusely for some shortcoming, the Holy Spirit whispers, “this is not about you.”
If you’ve been neglecting hospitality lately, my encouragement is this— just do it! Invite that person or family over that the Holy Spirit is bringing to mind. Make your home clean and comfortable. Choose a simple meal that doesn’t require a ton of prep. Play a board game. Ask your guests questions about themselves, their interests, their stories, their lives. Make the conversation about them, and turn it toward Christ.
You might feel awkward at first. You might burn dinner and have to order pizza instead. That’s okay. The more you do it, the easier it will become, and the more people you will encourage. God has blessed you with abundance, even if it’s just an abundance of fish sticks and mac and cheese. If you have accepted Christ as your Savior, you have been blessed with the abundance of God’s love and grace, and that is far more than many people have experienced. Don’t keep that to yourself.
For whosoever shall give you a cup of water to drink in my name, because ye belong to Christ, verily I say unto you, he shall not lose his reward. – Mark 9:41
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